Since it’s the new year, I kind of wanted to talk about my new year’s resolutions. But I already posted them here on my personal tumblr page so I think I’ll talk about something else.
That something else is wanting things, both material and intangible. Since I want so many things, I thought I’d limit the topic to just vacations and traveling so I can get my thoughts out on these things.
I’m used to going to Mexico every year in the summer when school is out and I have nothing to do because the majority of my extended family lives over there. However, even though it’s my break and vacation time, it is not theirs. We get there in August, hoping to go out every day and enjoy ourselves the way vacations are supposed to be, but they are working or in school or have these mundane, every day responsibilities that they need to take care of. And I totally understand because sometimes some of our cousins will come to the US to visit us but we’re not on break and we have things to handle. But it sucks being the one on break when everyone else is working.
I haven’t had a legitimate vacation in a long time and I’m tired of it. I have this feeling that after this year, I’m not really going to be doing a lot of visiting in Mexico anymore. I want to see things and experience things and have wonderful nights that I may or may not forget due to an alcoholic stupor. I want to call up my cousins and say, “Hey, bitch, I’m heading to Acapulco for four days before heading to the pyramids, if you wanna join me, this is the hotel I’m staying at. Peace.” They don’t have to agree to go, but if they want to see me, that’s the only time they are going to see me. I’m not up for another summer of sitting upstairs while it pours outside, waiting until dinner is ready to go down then watch a scary movie that we bought for ten pesos. I’m done with that.
Another point about vacations that I want to make is that I’ve only had family vacations. I’ve never gone off with my friends, or even without my parents, which I’m just now realizing is kind of pathetic. Yes, I love my family and I have fond memories of all the trips we’ve taken, but at one point, I have to move on and do things independently. I have to explore this world on my own or with people who have no obligation to accompany me, but rather who want to accompany me. I want to do stupid things that I wouldn’t be able to do with my parents around out of respect for them. I also wouldn’t want to do anything in front of my brother and sisters because our relationship is not necessarily one between friends. I separate the relationship between friends and siblings and I don’t want them to mix. I want to do things on my own with people I love who want to do them based on their own reasons.
The last point I want to make about vacations is that I am tired of countryside and nature hikes and I need a change of scenery. I was born in a city and I was raised in a city; I think I deserve to see other cities. I want to go somewhere urban and populated. I want to immerse myself in a culture and be on my own while I do it. I want to go to these places where I am constantly surrounded by people and noise, that feel familiar because they are people and noise, but unfamiliar because it’s not the people and noise I’m used to being around. I want to go to London, I want to go to Dubai, I want to go to Montreal, New York City, New Orleans, Dublin, Edinburgh, Paris, Lyon, Nice, Cairo, Perth, Syndey, Melbourne, Tokyo, Beijing, and all these other cities that I have never been to and really want to go to. I want to see animals in the wild that I don’t normally see like elephants and pandas and alligators and oh my good God I want to see the world so bad.